Best Laid Plans

With a month-long break between semesters, grand plans were laid to rebuild an engine

from a 1973 Harley Davidson Ironhead. After the rebuild, the engine would be swapped back

into its original frame currently housing a 1970 Ironhead. The 73 I had on my bench had a piston

blow up inside one of the cylinders, sending shrapnel down into the crankcase through the oil

passageways, locking up the cam gears and jamming the flywheel.

It’s been said that if you want to make god laugh, you just have to tell him your plans.

To start, there was no registration for one of the engines, and so started an intricate plot

of swapping one engine into the frame with matching numbers, running a title search through the

powers that be followed by thoughts and temptations to stamp the engine numbers into the frame

of a roller that would fit an Ironhead. This could potentially lead to a minor case of fraud, but I

figure if nobody has called it in as stolen and there is a random bike wasting away in someones

back yard, I’m happy to bring it back to life.

As I began to pull the case covers off the engine, red flags started popping up at every

turn of the wrench. Glue or caulking on the ends of primary case bolts, and an overabundance of

gasket seal that had dripped down to the underside of the bottom end. Once drained and cleared

of the decade or so of congealed primary oil, I found that the majority of the primary boltholes

had been blown out, most likely due to methamphetamine abuse and the disregard for torque

specs. They were “rebuilt” with copious amounts of JB Weld, again, a sure sign of an

overindulgence of illicit drugs and poor life choices.

Thinking that I could clear out the bolt holes of the devilish JB and weld on some

material that I could then retap with the appropriate thread, I pushed on thinking it would all be

worth it in the long run.

I cracked the cam case, and all was well. There were a few bits of shrapnel from the

blown-up piston but no damage to the gears.

Removing the engine from its stand to take off the oil pump and split the crankcase I

found, under the years of gunk, a massive patch of JB on the underside leading to a closer

examination that revealed a bead of JB around the entire case making it virtually impossible to

split apart and clean without inflicting major irreparable damage.

It was at this point I could hear the sublet snickering from above for what it was. Even

the best-laid plans when building choppers can come unglued. However, all is not lost! There is still a running bike and I gained some more friends and connections while searching out hard-to-come-by parts that are the hallmark of early 70s Harley’s.

Commiserating while licking my wounds sitting on the couch in another friend's shop will be the plan for the rest of my break. Scouring Chopper Swapper and Marketplace for another build I hope to take on to keep from having idle hands.

This is a reminder that all is not as it may appear while undergoing a chopper build and

unsurprisingly the best part is the conversation and connections made along the way.